This Humbled Me: I Settled for “Okay” and Called It a Life
Louder Than My Demons – Episode 19: The Humbling Season
For a long time, I thought I had built a successful life.
Then I lost almost everything… and realized I hadn’t lost success—I had lost a life I had settled for.
This episode isn’t about my legal case.
It isn’t about my divorce.
It isn’t even about losing my home.
It’s about something much deeper.
It’s about realizing that when you don’t know your worth, you settle.
You settle in relationships.
You settle in your career.
You settle financially.
You settle spiritually.
You settle for habits that slowly become your identity.
Sometimes life has to humble us before we finally discover who we’re capable of becoming.
In this episode, I talk openly about:
Why losing my house changed my perspective
Living in my best friend’s basement
The difference between ego and self-worth
Gratitude during difficult seasons
Faith, sobriety, and rebuilding
Why I don’t want my old life back
If you’re rebuilding your life after addiction, divorce, failure, loss, or simply feel like you’re starting over, I hope this conversation reminds you that your circumstances can get worse while you become a better person.
The mission hasn’t changed. The road has.
🎙 Louder Than My Demons is a war journal about sobriety, resilience, faith, discipline, and rebuilding a life one day at a time.
If this episode speaks to you, I’d love to hear your story in the comments. What season of life are you walking through right now?
What have you stopped settling for?
Subscribe for new episodes every week, plus:
⚔️ Outlaw Logic
🇺🇸 R.E.D. 22
🎸 Demon Cuts
👧 Daddy, I Have a Question
Learn how The Humbling Season can shift your perspective. This breakdown offers practical ways to navigate challenges and build resilience.
If you have been searching for guidance on personal growth, this perspective on The Humbling Season provides a grounded look at facing life’s obstacles head-on. The content focuses on the mindset necessary to stay focused when things get difficult, making it essential viewing for anyone currently navigating a transition or a tough period.
By examining the core principles of LTMD, viewers will gain a clearer understanding of how to maintain consistency and character regardless of external circumstances. We analyze the specific approach taken in this series to help you apply these life lessons to your own daily routine.
Subscribe for weekly personal growth advice and comment below with your thoughts on how you handle your own seasons of change.
#LouderThanMyDemons #Recovery #Sobriety #SelfWorth #Humility #PersonalGrowth #Faith #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #StartingOver #Podcast #RecoveryJourney
Knocked Back to the Beginning? You’re Not Where You Think
This week I walked out of court convinced I was back at the beginning.
I wasn’t.
If you’ve ever felt like life erased all your progress, this episode is for you. In this special War Journal, I share why familiar circumstances don’t always mean you’ve gone backwards—and why recovery isn’t about avoiding life’s hardest moments, but becoming someone who can walk through them differently.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
• Why I thought I was back at Ground Zero
• What eighteen months of recovery really changed
• Rebuilding after losing my home
• Living with uncertainty
• Staying sober through life’s setbacks
• Why the mission hasn’t changed—even when the road has
**Recovery doesn’t mean your life never falls apart. Recovery means you don’t fall apart every time your life does.**
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🎙 **Louder Than My Demons** is a real-time war journal documenting what it takes to rebuild a life after it falls apart.
If this episode resonates with you, subscribe and join the journey. New episodes, War Journals, Outlaw Logic, R.E.D. 22, and Demon Cuts are released regularly.
#Recovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #StartingOver
Samson: Strong Enough to Fight Lions, Too Weak to Fight Himself | LTMD Ep. 18
DESCRIPTION
Welcome back to Louder Than My Demons.
Samson killed a lion with his bare hands. Defeated armies. Carried city gates on his shoulders. But the thing that finally broke him wasn’t a lion, an army, or even his enemies.
It was himself.
In Episode 18, we explore the story of Samson through the lens of recovery, discipline, faith, and personal responsibility. This isn’t just a story about strength. It’s a story about drift, pride, consequences, and redemption.
We discuss:
• The difference between strength and discipline
• How small compromises become life-changing consequences
• Why Delilah wasn’t the real problem
• Spirituality, prayer, and staying connected during recovery
• Alice Cooper’s journey through faith and addiction
• No More Mr. Nice Guy and the search for identity
If you’ve ever wondered how someone can be strong in one area of life while falling apart in another, this episode is for you.
We recover loud. Louder than our demons.
#LouderThanMyDemons #Recovery #Sobriety #Samson #Faith #AddictionRecovery #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Spirituality #Podcast
CHAPTERS
00:00 Hot Open
00:22 Intro
01:02 Outlaw Sermon – The Strong Man’s Trap
05:16 The Reckoning – Samson
40:00 Guitar Tales – Alice Cooper
42:08 Field Notes – Spirituality and Connection
44:44 Beyond The Songs – No More Mr. Nice Guy
49:35 Reprise
51:02 Episode 19 Preview
How Did I Get Here? My Story Before Sobriety | LTMD Episode 17
I didn’t wake up one day and say:
“I have a drinking problem.”
I woke up a hundred times telling myself I didn’t.
In Episode 17 of Louder Than My Demons, I tell the story before sobriety — the normalization of drinking, the military culture around alcohol, the warning signs I ignored, and the lies I told myself while my life still looked like it was working.
This episode isn’t about rock bottom.
It’s about the slow erosion that happens before it.
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In this episode:
• My first experiences with drinking
• How alcohol became normalized in my life
• The Marine Corps and drinking culture
• The lies I told myself about control
• Why functioning doesn’t mean healthy
• Songwriting, self-care, and honesty
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🎸 Guitar Tales:
Jeff Angell, Walking Papers, and why the song Already Dead has meant so much to me and my daughter.
🎶 Beyond the Songs:
A performance and breakdown of Already Dead by Walking Papers.
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Louder Than My Demons is a war journal built on the Five S’s of Sobriety — a code for survival.
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⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 “How did I get here?”
00:40 Intro
01:30 Outlaw Sermon — The lie before the fall
07:30 The Reckoning — My story before sobriety
20:30 Military culture & normalization
28:00 The lie I told myself
32:00 Guitar Tales — Jeff Angell & Walking Papers
38:00 Beyond the Songs — Already Dead
43:00 Field Notes — Songwriting & Self-Care
46:00 Samson preview
47:30 The Reprise
52:00 Final thoughts
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🎙 New episodes every Friday
⚔️ Outlaw Logic every Monday
🔥 Demon Cuts returns this season
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We recover loud.
Louder Than Our Demons.
Urgency Is a Lie (Sobriety Truth) – Outlaw Logic #9
Stillness is a weapon in sobriety.
Most people don’t relapse when they take a drink.
They relapse in a moment.
A reaction.
A message.
A decision made too fast.
In early sobriety, emotions feel urgent.
Like you need to act right now. Fix something. Say something. Control something.
But urgency is not truth.
Urgency is emotion trying to take control.
In this Outlaw Logic, I break down:
– Why relapse often starts before the drink
– How emotional reactions put your recovery at risk
– Why stillness builds strength in sobriety
– The simple “60-second pause” that can save you
Because it’s not just people, places, and things…
It’s reactions.
If you don’t change how you respond, you stay vulnerable.
So here’s the move:
Pause.
Don’t react.
Give it 60 seconds.
That’s where clarity lives.
If you can sit still… you can stay sober.
This is Outlaw Logic.
And this is how I stay steady… and louder than my demons.
🎙️ Full episodes: Louder Than My Demons
🧠 The Five S’s of Sobriety — A Code for Survival
#sobriety #recovery #mentalhealth #addictionrecovery #selfdiscipline
In this Outlaw Logic, we explore how stillness serves as a powerful weapon in sobriety. We discuss why many experience relapse before a drink, often due to a ‘One Second Decision’ or an internal ‘Battle I Tried,’ highlighting the critical role of mindset. This video offers insights into how to stay sober and manage the challenges of early sobriety, providing tools for addiction recovery and fostering better mental health.
Sobriety Fails When You’re Alone | Breaking the Pattern – Outlaw Logic #8
Isolation feeds relapse. Connection breaks it.
Early sobriety can feel lonely. You’re changing your habits, your environment, and sometimes even the people around you. And when you stay stuck in your own head… things start to get dangerous.
Most people don’t relapse because they want to drink.
They relapse because they get isolated.
In this Outlaw Logic, I break down:
– Why isolation is one of the biggest relapse triggers
– How getting stuck in your own head makes things worse
– Why service is one of the fastest ways out
– Simple ways to break isolation starting today
For me, that looks like:
🎙️ Working on the podcast
🇺🇸 Supporting veterans (R.E.D. 22)
🤝 Helping others however I can
But it doesn’t have to look like that for you.
Call someone. Show up. Be useful.
Because small acts still break isolation.
Self-centered sobriety eventually collapses.
This is Outlaw Logic.
And this is how I stay sober, stay steady… and louder than my demons.
🎙️ Full episodes: Louder Than My Demons
🧠 The Five S’s of Sobriety — A Code for Survival
#sobriety #recovery #addictionrecovery #mentalhealth #selfimprovement
Early sobriety can present unique challenges, often feeling isolating as habits and environments shift. This video shares personal experiences navigating these difficulties, emphasizing that there isn’t one specific path to how to stay sober. We discuss the importance of connection in addiction recovery and how being present for others is crucial for a fulfilling sober life. Stream Now on your favorite platforms!
The Question Nobody Asks in Recovery | What Do You Do With Space? LTMD #16
There’s a part of sobriety nobody really talks about.
Not the chaos.
Not the rock bottom.
Not even the breakthrough.
The quiet.
In this episode of Louder Than My Demons, I talk about what happens when the fight starts to fade… and you’re left with something unfamiliar — stability.
No daily battle.
No constant urges.
No chaos driving your decisions.
Just space.
And the question becomes… what do you do with it?
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This episode dives into:
• The “quiet phase” of sobriety
• Why peace can feel uncomfortable
• Rebuilding your life after the chaos
• Growth without crisis
• How I’m applying this to my music and my life
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🎸 Guitar Tales: Lessons from the Venom Inc sessions and how they’re shaping the next Corruption record
🎶 Beyond the Songs: Rewriting Pray — and why editing your life matters just as much as editing your music
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Louder Than My Demons is a war journal built on the Five S’s of Sobriety — a code for survival.
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⏱ CHAPTERS
00:00 Sobriety gave me space
00:10 Intro
0:48 Outlaw Sermon — When things get quiet
04:10 The Reckoning — Life without chaos
38:30 Guitar Tales — Venom Inc sessions
42:20 Field Notes — Strength & Songwriting
45:51 Beyond the Songs — Rewriting Pray
51:31 The Reprise — Building something new
55:03 Final thoughts
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If this resonates with you, subscribe and follow the journey.
We recover loud.
Louder Than Our Demons.
Create or Collapse (Sobriety Reality Check) – Outlaw Logic #7
If you don’t create… you collapse.
That’s the reality of early sobriety.
When you remove alcohol or drugs, the pain doesn’t disappear — it shows up all at once.
Regret. Anger. Shame. Restlessness.
Most people don’t relapse because they want to drink.
They relapse because they don’t know where to put what they feel.
So they escape.
In this Outlaw Logic, I break down:
– Why early sobriety feels overwhelming
– What unprocessed pain actually is
– Why creation is a survival tool in recovery
– How songwriting helped me hold onto my identity
For me, that outlet was writing songs like “Straight Edge Superstar.”
But it doesn’t have to be music.
Write. Train. Build. Speak. Move it somewhere.
Because pressure always finds a release.
This is Outlaw Logic.
And this is how I stay steady… and louder than my demons.
🎙️ Full episodes: Louder Than My Demons
🧠 The Five S’s of Sobriety — A Code for Survival
#sobriety #addictionrecovery #mentalhealth #recovery #selfimprovement
For Me, California Sober Doesn’t Work | Outlaw Logic #6
California sober” has become a popular idea — no alcohol, but still using something else to take the edge off.
But for me, sobriety meant something different.
In this episode of Outlaw Logic, I break down why I chose not to replace one escape with another — even when it was an option — and how I learned to deal with my problems instead of numbing them.
This isn’t about judgment.
It’s about honesty.
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Outlaw Logic is a short tactical segment from Louder Than My Demons.
Built on the Five S’s of Sobriety — a code for survival.
The concept of “California sober” often raises questions about true sobriety. This video explores the nuances of abstaining from alcohol while still using other substances like cannabis, and challenges what it truly means to be getting sober. It’s about facing problems head-on and making a full commitment to quit alcohol, rather than just finding alternative ways to cope, which can lead to continued substance abuse. Real sobriety involves honesty and a complete recovery journey. #Sobriety #AlcoholAddiction #Recovery
Moving Forward With Purpose in Sobriety | LTMD Episode 15 (Season 2 Premiere)
Season Two begins.
Sobriety gave me space — but space isn’t direction.
In this episode, I break down what it actually means to move forward with purpose in sobriety. Not perfectly. Not emotionally. But with structure, discipline, and intention.
This isn’t a victory speech.
It’s a recalibration.
I talk about:
• learning from recent mistakes
• controlling reactions instead of justifying them
• rebuilding habits, structure, and discipline
• dealing with uncertainty without losing direction
• using the Five S’s of Sobriety as a daily code for survival
This season is about building something real.
🎸 Featuring: Guitar Tales (brought to you by Detained Records)
🎶 Acoustic performance: Redline
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Louder Than My Demons
The Five S’s of Sobriety — A Code for Survival.
CHAPTERS
00:00 — Hot Open: Sobriety & Space
00:20 — Intro + Season Two Begins
00:52 — Outlaw Sermon: Choosing Direction
03:10 — The Reckoning: Recalibration, Not Perfection
12:30 — Structure Over Chaos (Habits & Discipline)
16:00— The Five S’s of Sobriety Explained
17:58 — Guitar Tales (Detained Records)
20:30 — Field Notes: Discipline in Action
21:33— Beyond the Songs: Redline (Acoustic)
27:49 — Reprise: Moving Forward With Purpose